Losing What I Don't Deserve
by RowlingTribute91
Summary: Katniss wasn't the first Everdeen to enter the arena. Lexi Everdeen was there when Panem began. What were the very first Hunger Games like? She's going to find out.
1. Fallout and Aftermath

**Fallout and Aftermath**

Lexi stepped outside her door and couldn't believe what she saw. Bodies. Everywhere. She felt lucky to still be standing. Moments ago, a sonic boom had shaken the ground below her. She'd found shelter in her basement before the next boom shattered what had once been her home. Her parents and her brother, Toby, came down with her. The destruction kept going for what seemed like a lifetime, until everything was calm again.

"I think they stopped for good. We should go check on the other parts of the house," her father said.

The Everdeens climbed out of the rubble. First, Lexi went to her room, or, what was left of it. Her laptop, iPod, DVDs, radio, and books, were all broken. She knew they were unimportant things that she could live without, but it hurt to lose them, just the same. Her clothes had managed to stay intact, mostly, with some minor tears. Her bedroom furniture wasn't so lucky. She now had a broken bed with a torn mattress. _Where am I going to sleep now? _Lexi thought miserably. Looking at her room became too depressing, so she went outside to her family. They had already seen the grisly sight that awaited her. Other houses had been blown apart. Some of her neighbors lie injured on the ground, or worse, dead. She had to keep moving to avoid stepping in pools of blood.

"Are you all right?" Lexi's parents asked at the same time. They ran up to hug her.

"I think so. This is just unbelievable." She was so awestruck and horrified that she couldn't say anything else. "Toby! I'm so glad you're ok." Lexi held onto her brother the longest. Even though he was five years older, Toby was her best friend, the greatest guy in her life so far.

"Thanks, sis," Toby said gratefully. "Glad you're ok, too."

Lexi scanned the scene for familiar faces. "Can I go check on Nicki?"

She'd been friends with Nicki Lindstrom for about ten years, and Lexi was desperate to know how she was doing. Naturally, Lexi's parents said that she could look for her. Lexi walked to where her friend lived- _had_ _lived_, she corrected herself. It was only two blocks down the road. Piles and piles of wood lay where the Lindstrom house would've been. Nicki's parents and sisters were sitting on their doorsteps, weeping. Nicki wasn't there. _No… don't tell me she's dead._

Lexi waved meekly to them. "Hi. Good to see you guys aren't hurt. Where's Nicki?"

Mrs. Lindstrom simply gestured wordlessly to a figure lying below them. A corpse with light brown hair and green eyes. _Nicki. _The Lindstroms welcomed Lexi into their group hug while she bawled her eyes out with them.

"What kind of _sick_ mind came up with the idea for these horrible bombs?" she sobbed after they stopped hugging.

"Wouldn't we _all _like to know," Mr. Lindstrom agreed. "This world used to disgust me so much that I was beyond angry. Now, well… I don't even want to live anymore. "

_That makes two of us_, Lexi thought privately. "What do you think happens next?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, but it can't be any worse than losing my daughter." Lindstrom didn't know how wrong he was.

**-Six months later-**

All across the United States, families were suffering the same fate as the Everdeens: Houses blown apart, countless lives lost. The technology that everybody had been so keen on was practically non-existent now. This caused President Sharp to announce drastic changes in the country: The country was renamed Panem, and their state, Kentucky, was now known as part of District 12, out of the 13 Districts that divided Panem. New buildings were going up everywhere you looked. The Capitol was also moved, to the former city of Los Angeles. It became the only place where high-tech gear was still available. As Lexi would soon find out, however, this was nothing compared to the announcement that Sharp was about to make during a trip to District 12's town square. On a late afternoon, President Sharp stood at the podium with slicked-back blond hair, wearing a dark blue, three-piece suit. The Everdeens listened closely.

"I'm devastated and outraged by the events of the past months, and I know I'm not the only one," said the president. "We _have_ to do something to teach our citizens a lesson so that this doesn't ever happen again. My advisors and I came up with a solution: an annual event that we will call the Hunger Games. Each District must select one boy and one girl, between the ages of twelve and seventeen. They'll be chosen by a random name-drawing. Twenty-six people in all, otherwise known as "tributes", will come to the Capitol and participate in these Games."

Lexi thought, _He's calling them "tributes"? That can't be good._

"We are hiring men to create an arena with major obstacles that will test the skills of all involved." He cleared his throat. "The object of the Games is to survive, because only one tribute will return home alive."

The audience gasped in horror. Floods of conversation drowned out any hope the president had of speaking again.

For a second, Lexi couldn't talk. Her jaw had fallen down to the floor in astonishment. "I don't believe it. Is this even _legal?_" she asked her mom.

"I don't make the rules, honey," her mom said, sounding distressed. "We have to comply with their wishes." Mr. Everdeen just shook his head in disbelief.

Lexi was fifteen, right in the age range for the Hunger Games. Toby, on the other hand, was twenty, so he didn't have to submit his name. _At least nobody __else __in the family has to worry about possibly dying a gruesome death, _Lexi realized bitterly.

Sharp raised his voice to quiet the people down. "I understand your feelings about this. _Yes_, the outcome will put twenty-five families into grieving, and that doesn't include the friends of the tributes, either. _But_ we feel it's the price that we must pay for what's been done. This should teach you all a lesson. The name-drawing will be held in a month's time, here in your town square. May the odds be ever in your favor."

Lexi couldn't see how the odds were favorable. Not by a long shot.


	2. The First Reaping

**The First Reaping**

Today was the day that could change everything for Lexi. If her name was picked, there was a ninety-nine percent chance that she wouldn't come home. To make matters worse, the Games were going to be televised. All of Panem would be watching her die. But there were hundreds of kids around here that were eligible, too. As the Everdeens walked to the town square for the name-drawing ceremony, Toby held Lexi's hand.

"Do you think they'll pick me?" Lexi wondered.

"That likelihood is so incredibly slim," said Toby. "You worry too much." He squeezed her hand. It was amazing how much it did to calm her down, knowing that her brother was beside her.

At the podium, Lexi saw a woman with bright orange hair and a ridiculously large hat. Next to her were the two revolving balls. Lexi knew one was for the girls, and one was for the boys.

"Good afternoon, District Twelve!" the woman said happily when everyone was accounted for. "My name is Penny Trinket, and I will be conducting the name-drawing for the first annual Hunger Games. Without further ado, let's begin with the boy tribute!"

She spun the ball on the right-hand side first and pulled out a piece of paper.

"Ren Jarjosa." Hearing that name made Lexi's heart fall. She went to the same school as Ren, and, to put it lightly, she was completely in love with him. Toby turned to look at her consolingly because he knew all about it.

Ren slowly moved to the front of the crowd. His red hair was hard to miss.

"I don't want to watch him die," Lexi whispered to her brother. "And I most _definitely_ don't want to kill him!"

"Will you stop assuming that you're going to be the tribute?" Toby argued. "It's hard enough to know that your name's in there."

"Sorry. I can't help it. It would be just like me, though, with all the bad luck I've had."

When Lexi looked back up at the podium, Penny Trinket was taking another piece of paper out of the other ball. Toby put his arm around her.

"Lexi Everdeen." Lexi became incredibly still. Too paralyzed to move, Toby had to give her a push. Her entire body was shaking as she made her way forward. Penny smiled at her pleasantly. She took the hands of Lexi and Ren, raising their arms as if they were champions.

"Ladies and gentlemen," she declared, "I give you your District Twelve tributes: Ren Jarjosa and Lexi Everdeen!" All but the two tributes' families cheered. "They will have two hours to spend with their friends and relatives. Then… it's off to the Capitol, to prepare for the very first Hunger Games!"

[Note: Penny Trinket's a relative of Effie. Just thought it would be funny to do that!]


	3. Preparation Part 1

**Preparation- Part 1**

More cheers followed.

Lexi wanted to give Toby a stare that said, _what did I tell you? _But her brother's face had fallen the minute he heard her name, a warning sign that the situation just became all too real for anymore petty complaints.

Ren and Lexi were escorted into one of the newer buildings, with thirteen floors. They were taken to the twelfth floor to coordinate with their Districts. Lexi didn't even need to ask what they were here for: the tributes were here to say goodbye to their loved ones. If it had been for any other reason, she would've loved the sight of the room she met her family in. It had a bright, neon couch, and chairs that were so comfortable, she could've slept in one. They all gathered on the couch.

None of the Everdeens wanted to talk for the first half hour. They just sat in silence, trying to muster up final words for Lexi, while Lexi was thinking of final words to say to each of them. First, Mrs. Everdeen squeezed Lexi so tightly that Lexi couldn't breathe for a second.

Her mother released her hold and began crying. "Sorry. I can't believe this is happening!"

"Don't be," Lexi insisted solemnly. "This is most likely the last time you'll see me." _What's the point of the Hunger Games again? Oh yeah, _she remembered:_ To give me a punishment that somebody __else__ should be getting. I shouldn't be preparing to die. I'm a __teenager__, for crying out loud!_ Involuntary sobs escaped her, but it didn't embarrass her. This was goodbye. Best to let everything out now.

Her dad pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I love you, Lexi, We all love you so much. I know it's cheesy, but it feels like only yesterday that you were off to school for the first time. Now you're being asked to… I can't even say it…" He put his hand on his forehead. Lexi knew he was trying to keep it together.

Then it came time for Toby to say a few words. He traded places with their mother on the couch and stroked Lexi's chin.

"Who am I going to fight with on a daily basis now?" he joked. Lexi had to giggle at this. They used to argue about toys when they were little, and they still had their disagreements, like any pair of siblings. But there definitely wasn't any room for that here.

She ruffled his mane of brown hair, smiling weakly. "I'm sure you can find someone else to harass**. **Toby, you've always been there for me when other friends weren't. You can't possibly know how much I care about you."

She looked her mother in the eyes next. "Mom, well… I mean, you _gave birth_ to me. You know everything there is to know about me. Thank you for being so encouraging over the years."

"Dad, you've given me courage because I've watched you deal with some terrible cases in the hospital, yet you stood your ground. Even if a patient was dying, you put all your focus into operating on them. You've saved many lives."

Lexi figured this was the part of the movie where the heroine makes a moving speech. What she said probably wasn't too far from one.

"Look. I love you guys. These Games are going to be twisted, and I have no idea what to expect." She paused, suddenly feeling more confident. "But I know this much: I'll try everything I can to win. You can bet I won't go down without a fight."


	4. Preparation Part 2

**Preparation- Part 2**

The Everdeens launched into a group hug. Lexi just wished for this moment to never end, that she didn't have to think about what lay ahead. However, before long, officials came in to lead her to a train. In the car, she came face to face with Ren, who was already seated.

"Hi, Lexi." He smiled weakly, offering her a place next to him. Even though they were about to experience terrors beyond imagination, he was still cute as ever. "Looks like this is really happening, huh? I just can't wrap my mind around it. You realize that we have to _kill_ people?"

She sat down and sighed, irritated. Just because she liked him, didn't mean that she approved of depressing topics. "Yeah. Do me a favor: Can we not talk about that anymore?"

Ren nodded. "Had to get it out of my system, though. Anyways… You look very pretty today."

Being a girl, Lexi had to blush at his words. He was without a doubt the best thing about heading to the Capitol to die.

A man strolled into their car just then, a man that Lexi recognized immediately.

"Ace!" she cried happily.

Ace Watkins was a tall, burly man in his thirties, with dark brown hair that was highlighted by several gray hairs. He just so happened to be Lexi's next-door neighbor, and he used to come over weekly to hang out with her dad. She preferred to think of him as an honorary uncle because he would always talk to her and let her vent to him on a bad day. He'd also been a great encouragement to Lexi, inspiring her to do what she'd always dreamed of: auditioning for the school plays. She'd played a henchman to a fairytale villain, an annoying party-goer, and, her most treasured accomplishment, a deaf girl. That last play had brought the audience to tears. Then Panem was born, and every extracurricular activity came to a screeching halt. No time for fantasies anymore. Nobody cared about that now, with people barely getting by financially. Acting was her former life.

Lexi gave Ace a quick hug. He didn't look happy at all. It was only then that she remembered: the fun and games were over. Timidly, she asked him, "Why are you here?"

He breathed harshly. "Well, Lexi, Ren… I'm going to be your District mentor for the Hunger Games."

_Great_, Lexi wondered sardonically. _Now we need someone to coach us on survival. Are they trying to turn this into the Olympics? _

Ace sat down and continued what he was saying. "So, we'll be at the Capitol in about twenty-four hours. When we get there, the training starts. You'll move between some stations that will teach you how to make traps, how to aim and shoot… " He didn't need to finish the sentence for Lexi to know what aiming and shooting led to. "After a few days, you'll appear before judges and show them what you can do. Then they'll rate you with a number."

_Yup. They want us to be Olympic champions._

Ace seemed to be all out of words now. He must have told them all that he knew so far. Next, they watched a video of the other tributes being called.

Only some of her competitors stood out to her. District 2 called up a muscular boy by the name of Ian, and an equally muscular, dark-skinned girl named McKenna. They appeared confident, as if they'd been preparing for the Games. Like it was a _sport!_ In District 5, the boy tribute, Dakota, gave the impression of being a younger version of Toby, with the same haircut, the same shade of hair, even the same facial structure. Lexi may have to kill at least one person, but she hoped with everything inside her that she wouldn't be the cause of _his_ death. She was subjected to another pang of familiarity when the girl tribute was called. Her name was Natalie, and for some inexplicable reason, she reminded Lexi of her late friend Nikki.

From District 9, there was a girl named Skye, who was probably a year or two older than Lexi. She stood at the front of the audience with wavy blonde hair and a look that screamed "prissy". Lexi want to vomit at the sight. She doubted that Skye would last even a _minute_ in the Hunger Games! The boy tribute, looking to be only thirteen years old, was called Blaine, and the way he carried himself made Lexi wonder if he was somewhat mentally impaired. Her heart went out to him immediately.

The rest of the train ride went by peacefully enough, but there was an unspoken tension among the tributes and their mentor. When they finally reached the Capitol, Ace stood up and led them out of the train.

"Welcome to the Capitol," he announced, gesturing to the shining metropolis before them. Lexi hadn't been to a city in quite some time, since the Capitol was currently the only one in existence, and most modes of transportation were gone. It was easy to forget what she was here for when she stared in awe at the dozens of brand new skyscrapers that looked down on her.

They walked for a few blocks, surrounded by people who must have had too much plastic surgery, until Ace halted them at one of the smaller buildings. On its glass doors, the emblem of Panem was etched, along with the words, "May the odds be ever in your favor." Inside, they took an elevator two floors down to a wide gymnasium. It wasn't like any gym Lexi had seen before, though; it hosted guns, knives, traps, slingshots, and bows with arrows, all located at separate stations. There was an instructor at each post, but the tributes were all gathered in a cluster at the front, waiting for their cue to begin.

"See you later," Ace said regretfully, waving them goodbye. Then he turned to leave, to go do whatever the mentors were supposed to do next. Lexi and Ren exchanged nervous glances as they walked over to face the other tributes.

When all of them were accounted for, a stern-looking man came to the front. Using a deep voice, he told them, "In the arena, you'll come across many unknown perils, and we wanted to help you in any way possible. That's why you'll be here for a few days; to determine what mode of defense serves you best. Feel free to take as much time as possible in each station, but we highly encourage that you explore all of them. I can see how antsy some of you are-" (here, Ian and McKenna grinned at each other mischievously) "-so I'll just leave you to it. May the odds be ever in your favor!" There was an immediate scramble for the nearest weapons. On a whim, Lexi decided to check out the archery booth, where a healthy looking, middle-aged woman waved to her eagerly.

"All right, my first student of the day!" she cheered. "I'm Liz." Liz showed Lexi to the nearest bow. Apprehensively, Lexi picked it up, along with an arrow. She'd never touched a bow in her life. Toby did the hunting for the family's food, and he'd promised to teach Lexi after she turned sixteen. But with this bow in her hands, she already felt a wave of empowerment, like it was made for her.

"How do I get the arrow on here?" she asked Liz.

Her instructor kneeled down to pick up her own arrow and touched the small notch at the flat end of it. "You're going to attach this part to the middle of your bowstring. Make sure you hear a snapping sound." Liz grabbed her bow to demonstrate, after which Lexi repeated the act. "Good. Now, position yourself accordingly. Place the three middle fingers of your right hand on the string, and grip your whole left hand around the bow." Lexi did as she was told.

"The last step," Liz instructed, "is to pull the string back towards your right ear, but obviously, not close enough to hurt it. Aim at the target, then… you let the arrow fly!"

Lexi zeroed in on the bullseye, narrowing her eyes in concentration. With great care, she brought the string to her ear and released her arrow from the bow.

_Phwack_.

It landed smack dab in the middle of the archery board, echoing throughout the gymnasium's walls. Instantly, she could feel dozens of eyes glaring at her. Who could blame them? She was just as stunned about this feat as they were. It's not every day that a complete novice of archery makes their target on the first shot.

_Looks like Lexi Everdeen just found her weapon of choice_, she thought with a jolt of optimism. _ I may survive the Hunger Games after all._


	5. Preparation Part 3

**Preparation- Part 3**

The next few days were filled with more training. Lexi visited every training station, and she did well enough at each one, but she kept going back to archery. At the end of every day, Ace gave Lexi and Ren advice on surviving the Hunger Games. He'd lost all the cheerfulness that he used to have; how was Lexi supposed to keep her cool when her mentor wasn't acting like himself?

In front of the judges, she demonstrated her skill with the bow and arrow. She was actually shocked when they gave her a rating of 10, which made the other tributes take notice. Ren, on the other hand, received an 8. Immediately after her exhibition for the judges, Lexi was taken by Ace, who led her to another room, along with Ren. A group of people were waiting, seated on a number of couches and chairs.

"Lexi and Ren, these are your prep teams. They'll be in charge of your costumes, make-up, hair, all of that." He turned to the nearest person, a woman with multicolored streaks in her hair. "Jamie, why don't you introduce your team?"

Jamie stood up and nodded. "Thanks for the nice words." She pointed to the woman on her right. "This here's KT."

KT was petite, wearing a bob of jet black hair and a rhinestone flower implanted on her right cheek.

After both of them shook Lexi's hand, Jamie introduced the other woman, a blonde with bangs that covered her eyebrows. "That's Vanessa."

Ren's team was introduced next: two women named Penelope and Jade, along with a man named Kris. After a few minutes, Ace told them grudgingly, "Ok. I've got to see to a few Games details. Your teams are going to get you ready for tonight's opening ceremony; a parade of all the tributes."

Lexi raised her eyebrows. "Did you just say... parade?" In her mind, getting all dressed up to show off was just plain torture.

"Yes. They've come up with a clever theme for you two. Maybe it'll even be fun. I wouldn't know." Ace hung his head. "See you soon." With that, he walked out of the room, looking gloomier than Lexi had ever seen him.

Jamie clapped excitedly. "Time for a makeover. You and Ren are riding in the parade as… hold your applause… king and queen of the underwater city of Atlantis!"

KT and Vanessa exchanged giddy looks and rose to stand by Lexi, obviously hoping that she would show some enthusiasm. They were sadly disappointed. Lexi would've been happier taking a math test. Ren, however, grinned like a kid.

"Maybe it's not your cup of tea," KT admitted, "but you'll be looking so fabulous, you'll forget why you hated the idea at first."

Hours later, Lexi had been waxed, washed, and covered in loads of makeup. All the while, she thought, _It's official. The Capitol's pampering us to make us forget that we're all going to die soon. Olympics, here we come!_

The ridiculous mermaid fins around her legs didn't help, either. She could only hop if she wanted to move. Her favorite part of the costume was the shimmering sea blue top which showed her arms and belly button. A silver tiara topped it off, sparkling with blue and green stones. Her long brunette hair was braided down her back.

Eventually, Lexi's team met up with Ren's team in the entranceway to the opening ceremonies dome. Ren looked absolutely handsome, wearing no shirt (Lexi swooned inside), and fins the same shade of green as Lexi's. On his head was a silver crown, paired with a giant silver triton in his hand.

He hobbled over to Lexi. "Ok, I've gotta hand it to the team: this _was _a cool idea. I finally get to be a king!"

"Well, hello, your highness," Lexi replied with a giggle, bowing.

Ren laughed heartily and said, "See! Deep down, you know you're having a good time being all dressed up. And I haven't seen you smile in a long time. Even if both of us die, we have to be a _little_ optimistic."

Lexi had fallen in love with Ren for this reason. He always knew how to cheer someone up by goofing around, and it was just adorable.

Vanessa poked Lexi on the shoulder. "District One just began to enter the stadium. Follow me, you lovely merpeople!" She took off before Lexi or Ren could speak.

"_Somebody's_ anxious," Lexi joked to him.

Ren offered Lexi his arm and they slowly made their way to the District Twelve carriage. It was decorated with seahorses, crabs, fishnets, and painted with ocean waves. A built-in bubble machine completed the underwater effect.

Upon noticing them, Vanessa turned around, her bangs swaying to reveal a long scar on her forehead. Lexi gave her a concerned look.

Vanessa instantly pulled her bangs over the scar. "Oh, don't worry about this old thing," she explained hastily. "Got in an accident when I was little." Somehow, Lexi didn't believe her. From what she'd seen, the scar had barely begun to heal.

An unfamiliar man was standing next to the prep teams. He waved at Lexi and Ren. "Hello. I don't think you two have met me, but I'm from District Twelve, too. My name's Nathan." Nathan looked to be about in his fifties, and a shiny bald patch lay where his hair should be.

Lexi realized something was missing. "Not to be rude, but I have no clue what you're doing here."

"Oh, forgive me: I'm your new mentor."

This didn't sit right with either of the tributes. Ren gave Lexi a concerned glance.

"What happened to Ace?" she asked.

Nathan hesitated, fidgeting with his hands. "I'm not at liberty to answer that-"

"Please," Lexi insisted. "He's like my family. Can't I know what's going on?"

"No," he said firmly.

This only made her more furious. She demanded, "_Tell _me _now_: where _is_ he?"

Lexi's persistence never failed in an argument. She knew Nathan would crack any second; surely enough, he sighed in defeat.

"All right. Let's just say… he couldn't keep his mouth shut."

His words foreboded the worst thoughts imaginable to Lexi. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

Nathan didn't have time to respond because Jamie pushed Lexi away, helping her and Ren into their carriage.

"You'll find out later," their mentor yelled as they drove off to greet the audience.


	6. Preparation Part 4

**Preparation- Part 4**

Lexi had trouble sleeping that night. She was too busy wondering about Ace. He couldn't be dead, or else Nathan would've probably been more honest with them. But he'd managed to get himself in trouble somehow.

The next morning, Nathan met up with Ren and Lexi at breakfast. "Today, you guys will be interviewed," he said after biting into a muffin. "This is really important, because what you say and do can get you sponsors. Or not. In the arena, the sponsors want to give some help to whoever they think has the best chance of winning the Hunger Games. First aid, food; that sort of thing. They won't waste their money on someone who doesn't interest them."

_So basically, we have to act the way they want us to_, Lexi thought to herself while she ate. The more time she spent in the Capitol, the more she realized how controlling it was over all of Panem. After all, if the Hunger Games had been put to a country-wide vote, it would've been rejected.

Ren seemed to be catching on to the Capitol's schemes as well. "What should we say at the interview?"

"Nothing you'd regret later. Other than that, feel free to talk about whatever you want." He chuckled.

Lexi wondered how this could make any sense to him. Just then, a servant came by to pick up her empty plate; an Avox. They had their tongues cut out, which prevented them from speaking. Lexi's anger rose whenever she saw one of them. After being sent there to prepare for a televised fight to the death, however, it didn't surprise her that this was the Capitol's idea of punishment.

Like a punch in the gut, Lexi was abruptly struck by truth: The Avox in front of her was new. And he was trying to get her attention.

_Ace_.

She looked up at him and fought back tears. "I'm so sorry, Ace," she whispered.

He put a hand on her shoulder, slipping a note out of his uniform sleeve with the other. Lexi grabbed it to read. The note was short, but it spoke volumes.

_They weren't able to handle it when I spoke the truth. Make them pay. Win the Games._

If Lexi hadn't been outraged before, she sure was now. Furious at what the Capitol had done to Ace. What the Capitol was going to make her do. She took a pen from the table, scribbled a reply, and quickly handed it to him.

_Believe me, I will_, it said. She attempted to mask her feelings as Ace walked to the next table.

Ren's mouth was open in shock. "Wasn't that…?"

"Yeah," Nathan confirmed, nodding curtly. "Ace. I'd appreciate if you didn't mention his name while we're talking, please. You've got to worry about saving your _own_ lives. Come with me."

With an irritated wave of his hand, he took Lexi and Ren back into their usual room where they used to discuss Games strategies with Ace. The place was even more miserable than before, now that Lexi only had one friendly face to talk to. Why was Nathan taking the Capitol's side?

Lexi became conscious of the reason while Nathan spoke: "Not only will you be fighting against the other tributes and each other, but you'll be fighting against the arena itself. There's a group of people, called 'Gamemakers', who have come up with their own obstacles. I'm warning you right now, they will be harsh. _Very_ harsh. Try your best to avoid them." Their mentor grimaced.

_He doesn't have a choice, _Lexi knew._None__ of us do. We're just… puppets. _


	7. Preparation Part 5

**Preparation- Part 5**

Lexi, Ren and Nathan were interrupted by their prep teams.

"Sorry to barge in like this," KT said to Nathan. "We have to get them ready for the interview!"

Nathan shrugged. "Not a problem. I'll meet you two backstage."

Without further delays, Lexi and Ren were put through the same process as the day before: Hours and hours of tedious primping. Even though she still hated getting prepped, Lexi had to admit that she liked her interview dress. The knee-length skirt consisted of ruffles. Each layer was a different shade of the ocean, going back to their parade theme. The top half of the dress was teal with spaghetti straps. Jamie gave Lexi genuine pearls to wear for jewelry, and KT put her hair halfway up, letting some strands fall into her face. When she greeted Ren backstage, who was wearing a teal button-up shirt and matching blazer, all he could say was, "Wow. Hi, Lexi."

Lexi couldn't help but smirk at him. "Hey." The interview broadcast had already started, so they had to speak as softly as possible. Nathan came by momentarily and pointed to the interviewer, a man with jet black hair and stylish glasses. He seemed way too eager to be speaking with people who were putting their lives on the line.

"That's Jeff Larson," Nathan explained. "Whatever you do, don't give him any reason to believe that you're against the Games. You're up first, Ren."

He patted Ren on the shoulder, and Ren strolled onstage when the previous tribute was done. He did as he was told in front of Jeff Larson, talking about how beautiful the Capitol was, always smiling.

"I can't wait to see how my skills measure up with the other tributes," Ren added at the end.

"Well, may the odds be ever in your favor," Jeff told him cheerfully.

The studio applauded, and Lexi took her cue. Ren gave her a high-five as he walked by, and she stepped into the spotlight.

Jeff Larson announced, "From District Twelve, this is Lexi Everdeen!" More applause. He handed Lexi a microphone and went straight to the interview.

"How do you feel about being in the Capitol, Lexi?"

This was the part where she wanted to scream: _How do I __feel__? I shouldn't __be__ here! The Hunger Games shouldn't even exist, and you know it. Ever thought about how ironic it is? We're trying to teach people not to be destructive, yet this is going to end twenty-five lives. And the winner won't be the same afterwards. _

Through gritted teeth, Lexi forced a smile. "It's an honor to be here." The rest of her interview went smoothly, painting her as a girl who would use every ounce of talent she had to survive. Just the tribute that citizens of Panem would want to root for.

That night, she knew that her last hours of peace were coming to an end. The Games would begin tomorrow. Lexi decided it would be best if she went to bed right away, having no idea when she'd get any sleep in the arena. Before she did, though, someone knocked on her door. It was Ren.

"Hi. I just thought you could use a little company."

This brought a rare grin to Lexi's lips. "Ok." She opened the door all the way to let him in. His face was pinched with nerves, clearly thinking about what lay ahead, but he seemed very relieved to see her.

"I'll make this quick," he said. "I just wanted to say thanks. This whole process would've been so much more nerve-wracking without you here." There was a pause; then he spoke quickly. "Not that I'm happy to know you're being pushed into this-"

"Of course," Lexi assured him. "I never assumed you were happy about it. And I hadn't expected them to call your name, either. But I owe you thanks, too."

"You're the one who's got the better chance of surviving, though," Ren admitted.

"Says who?" She didn't want Ren to count himself out of the Games before it even started, or else he'd die on the first day. He really didn't know how much he meant to her. "_I_ say you can make it through anything."

Her heart started beating a mile a minute when Ren suddenly grabbed her hand. It felt a little sweaty from nerves, but his touch was so welcoming.

"Good luck, Lexi. I hope the odds are in your favor." In another surprise move, he kissed Lexi's hand. She was probably as red as his hair by now, but she knew he didn't mind.

"You too, Ren."

The morning arrived too soon. Lexi was immediately thrown into the hands of her prep team for final primping. _Cause, you know, I need to look good when I die, _she thought.

After she was painfully injected with a tracking chip, Lexi made a request to Vanessa: "Can you braid my hair in a ponytail like you did it for the parade?"

"Sure thing, sweetheart." She went to work on Lexi's hair and braided it faster than Lexi had ever seen someone braid before.

"One last thing," Vanessa said when she was done, lowering her voice to a whisper. "That scar under my bangs? I lied to you about it earlier. When I was approached by the Hunger Games committee to be on the prep team, I refused. Nothing makes me sicker than knowing so many people are going to be killed needlessly. But they came up with a very… persuasive way to make me say yes."

Lexi silently filled in the blanks for herself. It only made her disgust of the Capitol rise. _I have to win. For my family. For Ace. _

Vanessa started crying. "You're just _kids_." She couldn't restrain herself from hugging Lexi, who freely accepted the comfort of one last embrace. Jamie and KT overheard everything; they also hugged Lexi and said their goodbyes. Lexi realized they'd become sisters to her in the past few weeks. _At least __some__ people in the Capitol care that my life is at stake. _

Soon, Penny Trinket came into the room, wearing her plastered smile, as always. Ren and Nathan stood next to her. She'd been in charge of escorting Lexi and Ren to nearly every event, but Lexi never saw her as very important, compared to her prep team or Nathan. Now was a very different situation, as Penny said the words Lexi dreaded most: "Time to head to the arena."

Every step Lexi took was with legs of lead. She kept her eyes focused ahead of her, in a dreamlike state.

"Remember what I've told you," Nathan was saying. "Play to your strengths."

_This isn't really going to happen. It's all a dream. I'll wake up any minute now… _

The sight of Panem officials pulled her back to reality. They had entered an unfamiliar building, but Lexi knew what it was without needing to ask.

Wordlessly, they gestured to a couple of marked squares, indicating where Ren and Lexi should stand.

Nathan stared at each of them and offered his last piece of advice: "May the odds be ever in your favor."

Ren seemed confident enough as he stepped onto his square. Lexi attempted not to tremble, but she felt as though her feet would give out any second. She managed to settle on her marked place. Both of them were surprised when they were instantly encased in glass tubes and the floor rose from underneath them.

Lexi found herself gazing into darkness. If this was another trick of the Hunger Games, to create fear in their tributes, it definitely worked. All she could do was wait. Out of nowhere, a robotic voice began a countdown. Slowly, the black barrier was brought up and she could see light. Her glass tube also started to rise. The arena was closer than ever now. Lexi had to inhale and exhale deeply.

"Five…four…three…two…one…"


	8. Day One: Where Oceans Bleed Into the Sky

**Day One: Where Oceans Bleed Into the Sky **

_Holy. Mother. Of. Panem_.

The arena was a maze. From her viewpoint, Lexi saw steel walls that veered off in every direction.

All of the tributes were facing the inside of a circle, where a giant metal cornucopia stood. Beyond it, there was only one entrance into the maze.

As she prepared to take her first step, the cornucopia tipped over, spilling out bags, knives, ropes, almost everything a tribute could need to survive. Lexi figured there was one bag for each of them. Glancing at it again, she sadly came to the conclusion that there were no bows or arrows. Archery wasn't going to help her here.

_Forget about what weapons you can't have right now_, she reminded herself. _Take your bag and __run__!_

She bolted for a bag, grabbed it, and went straight to the maze opening. Nobody followed her, so she peeked around the wall to see what was holding up everyone.

Ian and McKenna, the tributes from District Two, wasted no time. They ran to grab a bag and knife; then McKenna quickly stabbed the tribute nearest to her. Ian came up behind another and killed him as well.

"Two down, twenty-three left to go," Ian said to McKenna with an evil grin. She grinned back at him in the same sadistic way, sending chills up Lexi's spine.

_Note to self: Never run into those two ever again. _

The District One tributes also went out for blood right away. Lexi watched at least five tributes die within those first ten minutes. Every time someone died, a cannon sounded, and her spirits sank even lower. It happened ten times. This was all too much.

She walked further down the maze, using all of her senses to be wary of any obstacle that might come. The ground wasn't dry and cracked, like she'd expected. Instead, she was standing on fertile grass. On each side, there were small trees and bushes, with berries and fruit growing on their branches. Lexi was kind of surprised that the Capitol would provide them with food sources. _So this arena can't be completely terrible, then_.

After turning left, she found a wire that was strung down low from one end of the wall to the other. Lexi wondered what would happen if she just stepped over it. Thankfully, she did so without tripping or meeting any other obstacles.

Moments later, she heard footsteps. It was the District Five girl, Natalie. The girl who'd made Lexi think of Nicki when she'd watched her reaping. Lexi tried not to cry, remembering the sight of her friend's corpse.

Natalie moved forward, looking unsure about whether or not she should. "You're Lexi, right?"

"Yeah. Wait! Watch your step there-"

Too late. Without looking below, Natalie walked into the wire, and a cruel metal spike opened up beneath her. Lexi gasped as Natalie fell onto it, but she couldn't get her out of the way in time. The girl was dead on impact.

Lexi stayed by Natalie's side until a hovercar came by to take her body away from the arena. It just seemed like the honorable thing to do, being the last person to see her alive.

She kept on moving until she was deep inside the maze. Settling behind a raspberry bush, Lexi opened up her bag to find a few rolls of bread, a slingshot, and a pocket knife.

_Eating one roll a day should work,_ she decided. _ And I can pick up some fruit or berries whenever I'm hungry. _

Surprisingly, Lexi didn't meet anyone for a few hours, thanks to her tactic of remaining hidden. Stealth\ had always been a talent of hers. She saw Ren pass by once and her heart gave a lurch.

_Only one of us will live. I don't know how I can get through this… _But she was determined to try. The reward for winning the Hunger Games was plentiful food, and a brand new home. Everyone in Panem was clamoring to get out of poverty; if this was the way to do that, then so be it.

Just when things were feeling too calm to Lexi, lightning began to strike in the distance. She jumped to her feet and ran to find a better shelter. If she stayed by the maze wall, she'd get electrocuted. But the walls were e_verywhere_. The trees were flammable, too. Slowing herself down for a second, though, she watched the lighting go from one corner to another. It was moving in a pattern. Lexi maneuvered around the maze according to where the lightning was, and a few tributes brushed passed her along the way. They didn't focus on her, since they were too busy avoiding electrocution. After a half hour or so, it stopped. The smell of smoke reached Lexi's nostrils. She felt like a wind-up toy that couldn't loosen up, but she was still breathing. Judging by the blast of the cannon, one tribute wasn't so lucky.

_Now to find another hideout spot. _

Taking out a piece of bread to eat, Lexi stared at the top of the maze wall. _Maybe there's some kind of safe zone there. _

Her eyes detected a ladder on the right. _Perfect_.

She did a double-take at the rungs to be sure that nothing prevented her from climbing them; when everything looked secure, she started her way up the ladder. A manufactured sunset awaited her at the top. Even though it wasn't natural, Lexi saw the beauty in its blend of scarlet, orange, and yellow hues. Things were calming down for the night. She could finally rest for a while. Even in the Hunger Games, people obviously respected the peace of sleep. The space up here was small; but it was her home for the night. Darkness gave way soon. Where the sky should've been, a giant screen lit up, showing the faces of the twelve tributes who were killed that day. Twelve innocent lives. And it included Dakota, the District Five boy that was a Toby look-alike. Lexi could only wish that they were now in a much better place.


	9. Day Two: Blinding Lights

**Day Two: Blinding Lights**

Lexi woke up the next day feeling sore. Steel definitely didn't make for the best mattress, but at least she'd been able to sleep. Below, she heard the rustle of bushes and footsteps. Lexi stood up, ate a piece of her bread, and looked out on the colossal maze.

_Another beautiful day in the arena awaits…_

She climbed down the wall as fast as possible; keeping her back turned for too long would only put her at risk. At the bottom, she picked fruit from a pear tree, surveying her surroundings for any suspicious activity. When she was absolutely certain, she turned right while eating her pear.

It wasn't long before she could hear voices. A boy tribute said menacingly, "Let's go find the District Twelve girl. Show her how we run things in District Two."

Of course, Ian was looking for her. He must've been shocked to know that Lexi hadn't died yet, because District Twelve was supposedly very inferior to District Two.

"Oh District Twelve girl, where _are_ you?" A girl tribute teased in a sing-song tone. She didn't sound familiar, but Lexi figured it was McKenna.

_How nice that you two are working together. It's a smart idea, actually. Too bad at least one of you has to die. Come and get me, then. _

Lexi rummaged through her backpack and took out the slingshot, standing in place. Luckily, the ground wasn't absent of rocks. She'd be ready for the District Two tributes. A few moments later, they came into view.

"Don't mess with me," she warned them, loading her slingshot with a decent-sized rock. "Take one more step and I shoot."

Ian gave a crooked smile. "If you insist."

He pulled a knife from his pocket and made his way toward her, but not before she fired the slingshot at his right eye. Ian clutched it in pain, staggering in the direction of the wall. Before McKenna could retaliate, Lexi shot another rock at her eye. She would've preferred a bow and arrow, but this was just as effective.

McKenna winced. "Oh, you're going to pay for this, Lexi Everdeen!"

_That should keep them busy for a while_, Lexi thought as she ran to the nearest turn, heading to the front of the maze.

Somehow, she wound up at the Cornucopia. Conveniently, a spare bag lay open. Lexi found a couple of bread rolls that hadn't yet been taken, so she stuffed one in her bag and ate the other. Her stomach had been growling for hours, and it felt so _good_ shoving some food down her throat. She chose to return to the maze without delay; less space would be safer.

The second she stepped back inside the steel labyrinth, a scream rang out through the walls. It sounded male… and very close to Lexi. Her caring heart needed to see who it was, what happened to him. Around the first corner, she found him: Blaine, from District Nine. He'd always been a little slow in their training sessions, but he'd never given up. Lexi wasn't prepared to see him the way he was now: caught in a deep pit (_must've been a booby trap_, she realized), with at least a dozen snakes coiled on him. They couldn't be harmless; otherwise, the Gamemakers would have no use for them. These snakes were venomous.

"Help me out of here!" he begged. "Three of them bit me."

Lexi shook her head sadly. Blaine's skin was already turning purple from the bites. "Sorry; I can't. But I'll watch you until…"

She couldn't bring herself to say the words: _until you die_. Five minutes later, the cannon announced his death. Lexi took off once the hovercar carried his body up, because staying put would just put her in more jeopardy. The snakes probably couldn't slither easily out of the pit, but she wasn't going to take any chances.

Despite the size of the maze, she'd memorized many parts of it in just one day. When she discovered a new trail as she continued walking, it struck her as odd.

_This wasn't here yesterday. _

But foolish as she could be, she went forwards. Halfway through the path, the walls started closing in on her.

_Run!_

Her race to the end of the trail felt never-ending; by some miracle, she reached it, but not before her right foot was caught in the mouth of steel. Trying to ignore the blinding pain, Lexi wrenched it out.

_Phew. That could've been a mess._

With a wipe of her forehead, Lexi limped along. Clearly, the Games wanted to keep the tributes on pins and needles, anticipating the next big obstacle. Time had gone by fast; she could've sworn that it was still morning, but the sun was beginning to set.

She was reaching the dead end of another path when a buzzing noise came to her ears. Whatever it was, there were swarms of them. And they were probably big. Lexi hoped that if she didn't move, they wouldn't find her. But they did. Monstrous mosquitoes.

In seconds, they gathered around her, fighting to locate any bare skin she was exposing. Lexi suffered a few bites; then something flew from the sky: a tiny parachute. Swatting the mosquitoes unsuccessfully, she kneeled down to open it. Ace and Nathan had told her that sponsors would send their rewards in the form of these parachutes. This meant they were impressed with her! Wrapped in the parachute was a can of repellent. She practically ripped the lid off and sprayed the insects furiously, causing them to veer off in a different direction.

_Now I just have to deal with the itching and the terrible pain in my foot… _

Lexi grinned to herself meekly. She turned the repellent can around in her hand, and at the bottom of its label, it said: "Can be used to stop itching from mosquito bites." Gratefully spraying it over her bites, she struggled to walk onward with only one good foot. She put the repellent in her bag and searched for a new tree or bush to conceal her exhausted body in. A few minutes later, she was ready to collapse behind a strawberry bush, when a second parachute landed on its leaves. It carried a wrap bandage and splint. Lexi quickly bandaged her broken foot and lay down. As she watched the faces of the fallen tributes in the sky, she was overwhelmed by happiness- and guilt- to have lived through another day in the arena.


	10. Day Three: Swimming in Smoke

**Day Three: Swimming in Smoke**

Lexi was awakened by a sudden rumbling sensation in the ground. It started subtly, but she could tell what this was. An earthquake. If she didn't run for it now, the earth underneath her would give out, taking her with it. There was only one place to go: the cornucopia. Hobbling on one foot took twice as long, and a wall barely missed her as it fell down. The zig-zag of the maze just made her nauseous, but she wouldn't stop. Finally, Lexi came to the open circle where the Games had begun. The cornucopia was destroyed, with a long crack running through it, matching the crack in the ground.

_I'm so glad that's not my head_, she thought with a sigh of relief. _My foot's broken; but I'm still here. _ So were a number of tributes, who'd had the same idea of reaching the circle. She didn't worry about them because they were preoccupied with their own survival; even Ian and McKenna seemed to have their limits, crouching down with their hands over their heads like everybody else. The earthquake lasted for about ten minutes, enough time to kill one tribute, who was crushed by a wall. While the other tributes wandered right back into the maze, Lexi dawdled at the cornucopia for some time. She nearly fainted from hunger. _Well, they don't call this the __Hunger__ Games for nothing._

After splurging on a whole roll and a peach, Lexi headed to find out if the ladder hideout she used before was still stable.

"Isn't this maze insane?" someone asked her out of nowhere.

Lexi jumped around to see the District Nine tribute girl, Skye. The prissy girl Lexi had hated in the reaping video remained, but the Games had made her appearance more unkempt.

_Wonder how she's coping without her "necessities"_, Lexi thought smugly. _Must be a pain, not being able to spend hours on makeup, clothes, and hair… _

Aloud, she said, "Definitely. I ran into these giant mosquitoes, and a wall nearly killed me-"

"The mosquitoes got me, too!" Not caring that she just interrupted Lexi, Skye raised her arms to show off her bite marks. "There's no _way_ I want to be seen on TV, with all these nasty marks. And look at this!" A handful of her hair had been burned off in the lightning storm.

Lexi rolled her eyes quickly. _Poor baby. How on earth have you made it this long? _

"I thought you did such a great job in training," Skye gushed. "Would you maybe want to team up? It could really help both of our chances of winning."

"Um…" _I'd rather break my foot again. _Lexi cleared her throat and shrugged. "Thank you. Why not? Let's get moving."

The girls walked through many twists and turns, stopping once to eat a batch of strawberries from a bush. Skye plowed ahead of Lexi. Lexi was about to follow her around a turn when her new ally shouted: "Ohmigod! Lexi… I think we should go another way!"

A few feet later, Lexi came face to face with a wall that looked brand new. A carousel had sprouted from the wall, spinning in the middle of the path. A carousel with razor-sharp blades. Skye merely stood watching the carousel from a safe distance, half in fear and half in awe.

Lexi wouldn't ever recall what possessed her mind when it happened. She suddenly felt her hands pushing Skye forward into the carousel of blades. On instinct, Lexi had to look away while blood spattered her clothes. She fled the scene in a panic.

_Oh boy. The whole country just saw me do that. What a monster I am. _

A minute later, the cannon sounded. Lexi had to remind herself that the Games pressured her to become a killer. But they hadn't _required _her to do it. This guilt gnawed at her as she kept walking. It was a plague that wouldn't vanish until she died.

She wasn't paying attention when something was thrown into her neck. There was a pinch of pain, like a needle being injected. Then everything faded to blackness.

The next thing Lexi saw was a mane of red hair. A face came into focus, and she sighed in relief.

"Ren! I don't know what happened to me, but thanks for coming to help."

"Who said anything about helping?" he replied. Ren spoke in a tone that terrified her, a voice that shouldn't have been coming from the kind boy she liked. And she'd only just noticed that her wrists were bound with rope.

"You're the one who knocked me out." She said it straight forward because it obviously wasn't a question.

"Yeah. Tranquilizer dart. Found them in a bag I grabbed, and I've been using them a lot lately. Makes it easier to take care of the tributes. I've killed two of them so far."

Over the past three years, Ren had never given Lexi a reason to be afraid of him. Under the current circumstances, though… he was giving her the creeps.

"We're not supposed to be _enjoying_ this, Ren. What's gotten into you?"

He gave her a look of astonishment. "Same as everybody else: I want to win. And right now, you're standing in my way. Sorry to do this…"

Ren reached into his bag, pulling out a matchbox and a small bottle of gasoline.

Lexi shook her head frantically. "No… You wouldn't… I thought you liked me."

"I _do_ like you, but not as more than a friend. I did what I could to get you on my side so that you'd be in total shock. Makes for good TV drama."

With a cruel grin that mimicked Ian's, Ren squirted the gasoline all over her.

"How _could_ you?" Lexi pleaded with him. She'd been reduced to whimpering like a baby. Not that she cared, since her life was on the line. Maybe Ren might take pity on her.

It was all in vain. He kneeled down beside her with a match in his hand and said, "Listen, sweetheart: This is the Hunger Games, _not _high school. Somebody's got to go, and it sure ain't me."

Ren struck his matchbox. "Goodbye, Lexi."

Lexi's hatred of herself was at an all-time high. _I've been so_ _blind__! Maybe it's better that he kills me… _

"Goodbye," she said in a faint whisper. At that moment, giving up felt unbelievably easy. She didn't even scream when the flames engulfed her. It shot through her body with the power of a thousand suns. Before she drew her last breath, a haunting song came into her mind: "Fallout", by the early 21st century band Linkin Park.

"_I'm swimming in the smoke_

_Of bridges I have burned;_

_So don't apologize;_

_I'm losing what I don't deserve._

_The blame is mine alone_

_For bridges I have burned;_

_So don't apologize, _

_I'm losing what I don't deserve…_

_**What I don't deserve**__…"_


End file.
